Once a year, I figure I’m allowed to go “siiiiigh” about my lack of progress on my television writing career. It’s that time. I got the last of my rejection letters and didn’t make it into the NBC Universal Writers on the Verge program (1st time – just found out about it this year), the ABC Disney Writing Fellowship (3rd time), or the Warner Bros. Writing Workshop (3rd time).
Yes, I know that there are literally thousands of great writers all trying out for the same spots. Yes, I know there are only 6 – 12 spots (depending on the program) available. Yes, I understand that it’s completely subjective. Yes, I know it’s half timing/luck and half knowing someone.
As a professional, I understand that. I know the system and how it works.
As a writer and human being, the rejection hurts.
I’m a good writer. I’d even go so far as to say I’m a really good writer. I do everything that’s expected of someone trying to make it in H’wood as a writer. I’ve got 3 spec scripts (scripts for existing tv shows, for those who don’t know- mine are Person of Interest, NCISLA, and White Collar), and 4 original pilots (scifi / drama / glbt), not to mention 3 features (scifis and a rom-com). They’re all ready and waiting to show the breadth of my writing range. I enter contests and the writing fellowships. I participate in various writer functions throughout the year and meet people even though I suck at small talk with strangers in crowded settings and loathe bars. I even have this blog and am publishing novels to (hopefully) create a fan-base.
None of it works. You know, when I moved to H’wood 10 years ago (and that’s a whole different post to come ;o)), I heard people say, and even read in a couple different places, that it takes about 10 years to “break into” H’wood. Well? I’m almost past my expiry date here! Still waiting! wtf, H’wood?
The longer I go without even getting a toe in the door, never mind a foot, the less likely it is that my “career” will ever happen. I’m a realist, even for a dreamer. I’m not getting any younger, that’s for sure. My age-peers are already in producer, exec producer, and show-runner positions, not below the bottom of the writing totem pole unable even to get a writing assignment like myself.
WHY WON’T ANYONE HIRE ME????? I’M FREAKIN GREAT, GOD DAMN IT!!!
*takes a breath*