Spoiler space found here so as not to have anyone screaming for my head! This is a far more detailed review of Skyfall than my previous post and if you don’t want to know what happens in this movie, then don’t go any further in reading this post. Also, apologies in advance if I misjudge the amount of space needed to fill the text that facebook and wordpress use as a teaser on the posts.
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There! That should be more than enough space!
Okay, so, my first bitch about this movie is why… WHY are the gay guys always a) flamboyant, b) off their nut crazy, and c) dead by the end of the movie? And in this case, we get all three. Javier Bardem as a bad guy should have been deadly and subtle and make you want to slide down in your seat or lean forward with tension because he’s such a great bad guy. Instead, I practically cringed with embarrassment every time he was on screen and it wasn’t because of his bad blond dye job. Granted, I haven’t actually seen Bardem in much, but I know he’s won awards for his acting in the past. It’s not like he couldn’t have pulled it off. This character was not just one-dimensional, but pretty much every bad stereotype of a gay man. God forbid an evil gay character (male or female) have any kind of depth what-so-freakin-ever.
The one thing they did in the “gay” area that made me cheer was when the evil Javier has Bond in his evil gay clutches and his hands are getting a little too close to Bond’s *ahem*(and omg do NOT get me started about how every gay man is out to have sex with every straight man stereotype ARGH!) and he’s going on about how Bond should (and I can’t remember how he worded it) experience something new.To which, Bond calmly replied, “What makes you think this is my first time?” Sure, it could have been a bluff on his part but really? He seems to have come out of the bi-closet! Yay! It’s about damn time!
My second bitch about this movie is women. Yes, yes, this is a Bond film so it’s not as though I expect much and really? Seeing scantily clad women doesn’t exactly piss me off. Heh. What did piss me off was that the ‘bad girl’ actually had some depth to her and they threw it all away not just by killing her, but by making Bond save himself at her expense. He could easily have performed that insanely awesome gun fight 30 seconds earlier and saved the girl. Oh, and not just that, but he wasn’t in the slightest bit broken up by her death or his failure to save her. Just made a quip to Javier about taking him in while her dead body hung from a rock. Forget the fact they’d just had sex about 12 hours ago and she’d basically told him that if she helped him, she was signing her own death warrant. What happened to the Bond who always saved the girl even if she didn’t want to be saved? It’s not that women weren’t thrown away like tissues before, it’s that this time, the movie could have been so much better, more interesting, if they’d just spent a few seconds thinking about it.
And speaking of women… M is dead. Yes, they actually killed of DAME JUDI DENCH! wtf, people? Really?? The ONE positive female role model in the entire Bond franchise and they killed her off. I suppose Ms. Dench could have requested it, maybe she was done with the franchise, but somehow? I don’t think so.
The only positive thing to come out of Skyfall in regards to women is Ms. Moneypenny. Yes, we finally meet her and she’s smart, she’s hot, and black.
Now, after all this bitching, you’re probably scratching your head and going, “But I thought you said in the other review that you liked Skyfall?” I do. But it’s a surface-level action flick that I have no desire or need to see again. It was fun, it was what it was, and now it’s over. I’m a Bond fan, always have been, but I want more from Bond and those who write him. And I have to say that these days? Ethan Hunt from Mission Impossible is taking over Bond’s place in my action-loving heart.
Ah well. Can’t win ‘em all.